It's been a long time since I last wrote, I know, but I really haven't felt able to post anything for the last two weeks.
Nearly two weeks ago now I decided to finish with Bart, which was one of the most difficult and painful decisions I've ever taken.
I'm grieving for having lost one of the most lovely people I've ever had the good fortune to meet, and the fact that it was I who felt the need to walk away is unbelievably painful.
It seems wrong to go into detail here about why it all happened, especially as I don't want to hurt Bart any more than I already have done. It's maybe enough just to say that I've now learnt that my greatest need is to truly be myself, warts and all, and that I have some work ahead of me, recognising, accepting and learning to live with even the bits of me that I really don't like very much. This need eclipses even my need to love and be loved, strong though that is.
Life is sometimes very hard to bear, but at least tomorrow is another day.
Posted by Eurodan at September 26, 2004 7:06 PM